What Lube Should I Use?

Team Sex Ed! Kate & Louise

Team Sex Ed! Kate & Louise

Confused about personal lube? Should you use lube? Which ones should you choose? What are the different types? What is best matched with condoms

All the answers are made easy and accessible by sex educators Kate McCombs and Louise Bourchier in their video below. They explain why you should use lube, the different types of lube out there, and what each type is good for. Remember, one great way to explore different lubes is by trying sampler packs. Lucky Bloke offers a wide range of samplers from water-based to flavored to arousal lubes and more.

Here’s Team Sex Ed’s important lube tips:

  • You should use lube, especially with condoms because it helps the condom last longer and prevent breakage.
  • Lube also helps prevent small tears that can cause infection inside the body.
  • Lube is crucial for anal sex because, unlike the vagina, the butt is never self-lubricating.
  • Watch out for the ingredient glycerin in water-based lubes. It can cause irritation and yeast infection for some.

This video was originally posted on the Team Sex Ed channel.

BY KATE MCCOMBS & LOUISE BOURCHIER | Team Sex Ed! Kate & Louise

Unsure what size

kate_mccombsKATE MCCOMBS is a NYC-based sex educator, writer, and maker of puns. Ultimately, all of Kate’s work is about helping people feel more comfortable talking about sex. She believes that meaningful conversations + accurate information can help us create a healthier and more pleasure-filled world. Kate writes articles and teaches workshops about sexual health, pleasure, and communication.  Follow Kate on Twitter @katecom

 

louise bourchier 150 150LOUISE BOURCHIER, MPH is a sex educator who knows health and pleasure. She teaches workshops to adult audiences throughout Australia and New Zealand, where her mission is to facilitate access to information that allows people to experience healthy and pleasurable sex lives. She works closely with D.VICE: the toy shop for grownups and is a proud emissary of Sex Geekdom Melbourne.  Follow her on Twitter @louiselabouche

Is Saran Wrap OK to Use Instead of Sex (Dental) Dams?

screen-capture-16Many people do not think about protection when it comes to oral sex mostly because pregnancy is not an risk. However, STI transmission is a very real risk during oral play. Sex dams (also known as “dental dams”) are the best oral sex protection method available but they tend to be fairly expensive and not widely available.  But not to worry! There is an extremely cheap and effective alternative if you don’t have access to a commercial sex dam.

In this video from Oh Megan you’ll learn:

  • Commercial dental dams are pieces of latex (non-latex is very hard to find).
  • They can be purchased at adult stores, sex store, online and sometimes for free at sexual health clinics and from a doctor.
  • Dental dams are to be used for oral-vaginal or oral-anal contact.
  • Dental dams stop the transmission of bodily fluids.
  • In march 2010 the CDC stated that saran wrap can be used for the prevention of sexual transmitted infections and the FDA, in 1993, found that saran wrap (the brand) could be an effective barrier to viral size particles.

This video is originally posted here

BY MEGAN ANDELLOUX | ohMegan.com

megan_andellouxMEGAN ANDELLOUX  is a Clinical Sexologist and certified Sexuality Educator, listed on Wikipedia as one of the top sexuality educators in America, her innovative education programs, writing, social media presence, and ambitious speaking schedule has made her one of America’s most recognized and sought-after experts in the growing field of sexual pleasure, health, and politics.
Follow Megan on twitter @HiOhMegan

How She Made a Condom Hater a Condom Lover

limp on condomsThe folks at Condom Monologues share an all too familiar story: You’re in the heat of the moment. Amazing sex is about to begin. So you reach for a condom. But just as you’re about to strap it on your man, he goes limp. The lustful moment swiftly plummets to awkwardness. What do you do?

We’ve all heard the excuse not to use condoms because they ruin sex. Many of us have experienced partners who hate condoms to the point that there is a real physical reaction against them.

But there are ways to overcome condom hate and have even better safer sex.

Condom Monologues demonstrate how a condom hater can be converted to a condom lover. The storyteller explains how she used this opportunity to teach her partner about proper condom fit and offers to explore new types and sizes with him.

After all, if someone doesn’t like condoms it’s likely because they haven’t found the right one yet.

So what at first seems like a date gone wrong can actually transform into a wild journey of sexual exploration!

This post was originally published at Condom Monologues.  

BY CONDOM MONOLOGUES | CondomMonologues.com

A one night stand of fun, no-strings-attached sex was exactly what I needed. Undesired, however, was a man who went limp at the sight of condoms.

We quickly hooked up. Hot, passionate kissing that evolved into a scene of heavy lust. Before we gravitated to the bedroom I asked him if he had condoms on him as I was unprepared- guilty as charged. Pleased that he did, we confidently carried on without inhibition.

He was over 40 years old. To me that signaled “experienced”. Plus being an amazing kisser, I was so excited to share me body with him.

He handed me a Lifestyles KYNG. Up pops the first warning sign. I thought to myself, “This guy doesn’t need a large size condom.” He was perfectly average. But this wasn’t the right time to bust his misplaced ego. However, the wrong fit could put us at risk of malfunction, so I planned that if the condom seemed too loose I’d simply ask if he had a different stock of rubbers.

But a greater malfunction occurred.

I peeled open the condom. As I rolled it on him, his shaft instantaneously went soft, softer. Limp. “Urgh, I hate condoms!” He exhaled. “I never had to use them in my last relationship. I’m not use to them.”

Guess this 40 year old wasn’t as experienced as I imagined.

My story isn’t rare. I’ve encountered different versions by my friends and peers that, even in clear non-monogamous scenarios, men will complain that condoms dull sex- as if sex is not worth it if it involves a condom! This puts the other person in an incredibly confusing situation. I would go so far to say it’s an act of disrespect for the person’s well-being to complain and try to adverse protection.

Speaking from my own experience, it felt implied that the problem was I wanted to use protection. This guy wasn’t just complaining. There was a real physical disdain against the condom.

An initial wave of pity ran through me- how embarrassed he must feel for this involuntary action- followed by a flash of insecurity in myself.

Feelings of doubt were brief. Doubts in my own sexual worth and worry that this man is now going to feel we can’t have great sex because I insist on condoms. I consciously had to fight these powerless thoughts and remind myself that condoms to me equal hot, worry free sex. It’s hot because it’s a gesture of taking care of each other and of being socially responsible. Intelligence is sexy.

Besides, a man who doesn’t like condoms and obviously doesn’t know how a condom should fit is another warning sign that he likely has had unprotected sex before and might have an STI.

My response: I told him that we can keep trying. And we did, manually. Two condoms later, no improvement in his stamina. So, penetration was out, but that didn’t stop us from enjoying each other in different ways. He was respectful in that way.

Our relationship is left with my offer to help him find the right condom that’s perfect for him. This of course means plenty of trial and exploration ahead. So this may become a tale of a condom hater converted to condom lover. We shall see.

Monologues are independent stories and the opinions shared are the author’s own.

 

Unsure what size

condom-monologuesCONDOM MONOLOGUES Affirming safer sex and sexuality one story at a time… Condom Monologues dispel harmful myths about safe sex and sexual stereotypes that permeate our ways of understanding what is “healthy sexuality”. They accomplish this through sex-positive, pleasure-focused approaches to sexuality that affirm the diversity of people- genders, sexualities, kinks and relationships.
Find them on twitter @CondomMonologue

A Guy’s Guide to Condoms

When it comes to the condom, it will always be a friend you can depend on, especially if you use it right.

“When it comes to the condom, it will always be a friend you can depend on, especially if you use it right.”

Condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy when used correctly and consistently. However, most people don’t use it perfectly every time. So the folks at Bedsider have created a fun two and a half minute video made specifically for young men about condoms and condom use.

We think it’s a great video because it focuses on pleasure and reviews facts about condom size (something often overlooked in sex education). And this vidoe skips the fear-based messages entirely. We know that scaring people doesn’t prevent unwanted sexual outcomes. Instead we want to educate folks into doing it safely and enjoyably!

Here is an honest and hilarious guy’s guide to condoms:

  • Condoms are the only contraceptive that protects against both STIs and accidental pregnancy.
  • With correct and consistent use, condoms are 98% effective.
  • Don’t store condoms in your wallet. See how to correctly care for condoms here.
  • Always leave room at the tip of the condom. Pinch it with your fingers to keep air from getting trapped.
  • If you don’t like the condom you used, simply try a different one. Not all condoms are made equal. There is a variety of condom sizes and types. Read this guide to finding the right condom for you.

Note: If you want to skip all the creative condom euphemisms, just skip to 0:45 seconds and get straight to the point.

This video was originally published on Bedsider.

BY BEDSIDER | Bedsider.org

Guy Nottadadi has a few key points you’ll want to hear about your best bro, the condom (a.k.a. sleave it to beaver, groin cloth, rain jacket, love glove, etc).

bedsiderBEDSIDER is an online birth control support network for women operated by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen & Unplanned Pregnancy. Bedsider is totally independent (no pharmaceutical or government involvement). Honest and unbiased, Bedsider’s goal is to help women find the method of birth control that’s right for them and learn how to use it consistently and effectively, and that’s it.
Find Bedsider on twitter @Bedsider

Smaller Package, Better Lover?

david statue

While a larger penis doesn’t imbue a man with greater sexual skill, men can feel great pressure to have an “ideal” body, especially one with an “ideal” (i.e., larger)  penis.  What are the effects of this very narrow notion of ideal penis size? Melissa White, CEO of Lucky Bloke, looks at the impact of media’s “bigger-is-better” messaging on men, their partners and the condom industry at large.

This article addresses the impact of media on male body image and addresses the condom industry’s failure to serve men of all sizes.

Here are some main points to take away:

  • Only 55% of men report satisfaction with their penis. Meanwhile 85% of women report satisfaction with their partner’s penis.
  • Only 50% of men worldwide have an “average” size penis and require what is known as an “average” or a “regular” condom.
  • 35% of men require a more tailored or smaller condom, which several companies do not offer.
  • Only 15% of men require larger condoms. However, 85% of marketing attention is given to this category.
  • 85% of the condom-buying population is marginalized.
  • Men whose self-worth is tied to penis size can suffer lower self esteem, while men who are comfortable with their penises report feeling more confident and happy.

The original article was published on the Huffington Post

BY MELISSA WHITE | CEO of LuckyBloke.com

It truly is all about the size of the package — but not in the way that you might think.

It’s time to take a stand: regarding penis size, and what it means to be a sexually desirable man. A large penis doesn’t make a man a great kisser, fill him with sensuality and passion, make his partner feel loved or safe – nor guarantee that he is a remotely competent lover.

It’s often ignored that the largest sex organ we have is our brain. The brain, which it happens, is also bombarded with distorted messaging on what makes a man, a man.

And it starts at an increasingly early age. The way men and their bodies are portrayed in mass media deeply affects their lives.

There are over a million men in the U.S. with serious eating disorders. Perhaps more revealing, is a figure from a recent UK study, which found 1 out of 3 men would sacrifice a year of their life in exchange for their ideal body.

I began speaking to men in my circle, as well as to Lucky Bloke customers, about these findings, and then took it to Facebook:

“Gentlemen, how many years would you be willing to sacrifice, in exchange for your ideal body? How many for your ideal penis?”

The responses given indicated that men’s levels of success, attractiveness, or intelligence, seemed disconnected from whether they were comfortable about their bodies.

One in particular was very clear. “My ideal penis? I think you mean women’s idea of an ideal penis!” And it just so happens he was willing to sacrifice more years than any other participant.

And that’s saying a lot. Most who responded stated they’d sacrifice at least 10 years of their life in exchange for their ideal body — especially if it included their ideal penis.

Wow. Am I alone in preferring the men in my life live an extra 10 years, just the way they are?

Seeking further insight regarding body perceptions, I turned to Elle Chase — aka Lady Cheeky, one of my favorite Sex Educators (and moderator for: Does This Panel Make Me Look Fat?: Body Image and Sexuality at CatalystCon in Los Angeles).

Elle summed it up:

“There’s a pervasive meme out there that men’s bodies need to be hairless or they need to be a certain height and, of course, the old wives’ tale about having to have a big penis to properly satisfy a partner. In reality, it’s our diversity that makes us who we are and comparing ourselves to what we see in magazines is futile. The fact is, we all have to stop beating ourselves up because we don’t meet a perceived ideal. Especially, when it comes to penis size… I’ve always said “it’s not the size of the pencil, it’s how you sign your name. “

Are Elle and I the only women who feel this way?

Not according to a comprehensive study which showed that 85 percent of women are satisfied with their partner’s penis. However, it also revealed that only 55 percent of men find their own size satisfactory.

Women appreciating their lovers is great news.

The bad news is men’s sense of self-worth is sabotaged long before they couple up.

So what exactly are the messages society is sending young boys and men? Mass media narratives insinuate that a man is only popular with the ladies if he’s well hung, and has the stamina of a superhero.

These days, many of the condom conversations I have touch on the topic of penis size. That’s how I know that even smart, sexually active people have yet to learn that condoms come in three basic sizes.

This critical information is rarely a component of Sex Ed. Even more elusive are conversations about what a condom should feel like when it’s on. Not to mention pleasure as a barometer for condom fit. I mean, who would want to have to acknowledge pleasure as part of Sex-Ed? Outrageous!

The facts are simple: when a condom is too small for a man he feels discomfort, loses his erection, and at worst, the condom breaks (clearly, he’d benefit from a larger condom).

If, on the other hand, a condom is too large, it slips and slides, leaks easily, and sooner or later falls off.

A condom that is too big or too small leads the man wearing it to focus on his discomfort. Thus both pleasure and safety are severely compromised (typically for both partners).

Fun fact: Most free condoms distributed promulgate the myth that one size fits all.

However, it’s estimated only 50 percent of men worldwide have an “average” size penis and require what is known as an “average” or standard condom.

A whopping 35 percent of men, globally, require a more tailored or smaller condom, while a larger condom is required for 15 percent of men.

Due to the media obsession with endowment, 85 percent of marketing attention is given to that final 15 percent of the population. As a direct result, a staggering 85 percent of men — the vast and silent majority, are marginalized. They’re essentially being told they shouldn’t exist.

Sadly, many condom manufacturers are complicit in this absurdly lopsided marketing.

Trojan has created explosively popular branding with their Magnum franchise. Yet there is obviously a glaring discrepancy between Magnum’s mass appeal and the fact that, for 85 percent of men, it simply isn’t the right fit.

Perhaps even worse is Trojan failing to offer any small-sized condom option. Many brands have followed suit, ignoring 35 percent of the population entirely. What kind of message is this sending to sexually active men?

Obviously, when a man’s self-image is deeply, even subconsciously, tied to the size of his penis societal influences, including marketplace messaging, can cause serious harm to his self-esteem.

And conversely, it comes as no surprise that men who are comfortable with their penises report feeling generally happier and more confident. Which brings me to my favorite response from that informal body-image survey:

“…Regarding the ‘perfect body’ — I wouldn’t trade any years. I love my body. And, I’m super happy with my penis. I feel blessed there too. Now this is not to say I am by any means perfect in either department, but I do feel really lucky. Yes, keeping very healthy and taking care of myself is probably a big factor resulting in a strong body, but good genes also play a def [sic] part. There’s also [my partner’s] loving adoration. I think feeling good about myself and feeling very loved by my partner — knowing that I turn her on, and knowing how much she ignites the same desires in me, is also a big part.”

I know I would want any man I love to feel this way.

And, perhaps, that’s where we begin. Considering the most relevant questions: When you think of a good lover where does your mind go? What really turns you on?

Wanted: Men Who’d Benefit From a Snug Condom

Photo credit: Chris Beckett

Photo credit: Chris Beckett

Tired of condoms that slip and slide? Lucky Bloke can help!

If you find condoms bought at the local drugstore too loose or baggy and often slip around, you are likely part of the 35% of men who require a smaller condom. This statistic may surprise you, but the fact is only 15% of men need large condoms. Lucky Bloke suspects that mainstream condom companies are reluctant to put the word “small” on packages because customers would hesitate or be embarrassed to purchase them.  Condom marketers know that the male ego plays a powerful role at the checkout stand and in the bedroom due to smaller penis stigma.  As a result, men and women buying condoms aren’t aware of smaller condom options.

This means that many people are wearing the wrong condom size which has serious consequences. Condoms that fit baggy and loose not only debilitate pleasure, but also causes condom malfunction, thus increasing the risk of STI transmission and accidental pregnancy.

Lucky Bloke is putting the spotlight on smaller condoms with the first ever international Small Condom Review to raise awareness about proper condom fit and help you find the best condoms for you.

What Is Project Sure Fit?

This month, Lucky Bloke launches the international Small Condom Review, the first and most comprehensive condom review ever conducted specifically for men requiring a smaller, narrower condom than standard size condoms.

Project Sure Fit – the latest Global Condom Review & Safe Sex Initiative presented by Lucky Bloke invites you to sample offerings from top brands featuring smaller condom size styles such as GLYDE, Caution Wear, Atlas, Sustain, Lifestyles, RFSU, Beyond Seven, and the FC2 (Female) internal condom.

How It Works?

Once you’ve initially applied online and are eligible, you will receive free premium condom samplers to try with the partner of your choice in the comfort and privacy of your home (or wherever you may choose). You will then complete your reviews via easy, completely anonymous online questionnaires.

Participating in this review will be the best thing you’ve done for your sex life.

To date, of the 5600+ reviewers (in 28 countries) who’ve participated in Lucky Bloke’s ongoing global condom reviews: 96% state the review experience greatly improved their relationship with condoms.

Who Can Participate?

Anyone who requires smaller condoms! All you need is:

  • the love of great sex and a refusal to compromise on safety,
  • the desire to share your opinions to make future condoms better,
  • the need for a smaller-than-average-condom.

A wide range of opinions are desired, so your participation is wanted regardless of how experienced you are to safer sex and condom use.

You can use Lucky Bloke’s easy condom size chart to determine if you qualify.

Where To Apply?

Condom users can apply online here.  Applicant’s identities will be held in the strictest confidence.

If you or your partner have ever experienced a condom that slips and slides, or feels too baggy, this is a great opportunity for you!

condom ad condoms too loose

 

Condom Love: Find Out How Amazing Safer Sex Can Be…

screen-capture-6

You’ve probably been told how to use a condom but have you ever been told how to choose a condom? It’s not a one-size-fits-all proposition. There are sizes, shapes, materials, flavors, lubes- oh my!

Melissa White, CEO of Lucky Bloke, to the rescue! She explains everything you need to know, from size to shape, from flavor to lube, so that you can find the perfect prophylactic for you!

This article is meant to help you to navigate the condom market, understand the options available to you and ultimately, make the best decision for your body and pleasure.

Here are some main points to take away:

  • Condoms are available in three basic size categories: Smaller condoms fit 35% of men, standard condoms fit 50% of men and larger condoms fit 15% of men.
  • If you’re unsure on size, try Melissa’s sizing tip or test out a sampler.
  • Condom samplers are a great way to try out premium condoms without committing to an entire box.
  • Non-latex condoms are great for those with allergies, though lambskin condoms are not effective against STIs.
  • Study showed that men who used lube with condoms became more aroused.
  • Don’t miss the discount code for Bedsider readers!

Read the full post at Bedsider.

BY MELISSA WHITE | CEO of LuckyBloke.com

1. Condoms aren’t one-size-fits-all.

Little-known fact: condom size is the most critical factor in increasing safety and pleasure with condoms.

Have you ever worn a bra that didn’t fit right? Whether you endured straps digging into your shoulders, relentless underwire stabbings, or cups that bunched up, you understand that an ill-fitting bra is at best distracting and at worst downright painful.

Just like a perfect-fitting bra, a well-fitting condom will take your (and your partner’s) mind off of the condom and onto giving and receiving pleasure.

Condoms are available in three basic sizes.

Smaller condoms are the best option for 35% of men. If you have ever had sex and the condom slipped around or came off inside of you (and yes, that does happen)—or if your partner’s chief complaint is that wearing condoms feels like a paper bag–that partner probably should switch to using a smaller-than-standard condom.

PRO-TIP: If your partner would benefit from a slightly-smaller-than-standard condom yet doesn’t need a true “small condom,” there are a few excellent Japanese condoms that are simply narrower than standard condoms. These include some of the thinnest condoms on the market–so there will be very little getting between you and your partner.

Standard condoms are the best option for 50% of men. If your partner is in this category, you’ll have a wealth of condoms from around the world to choose from. That includes lots of premium options that are likely superior to anything you’ve tried before.

Larger condoms are the best option for 15% of men. If your partner has a history of broken condoms and serious discomfort when it comes to wearing condoms, he has likely been wearing condoms that are too small for him and needs a larger condom. Female condoms are another option worth exploring, especially if your partner finds even larger condoms uncomfortable.

PRO-TIP: It’s good to be aware that there are also a number of between-size condom options available—for example Kimono Microthin Large—that bridge the gap between “standard” and “large” size condoms.

Here’s a trick to determine the best condom size for your partner. If you’re still at a loss regarding your partner’s perfect condom size, or if you have multiple partners or just want to stock up on a variety of sizes, Lucky Bloke has a “Not Sure What Size Condom to Buy” Sampler.

2. Shapes, and materials, and flavors…Oh my!

Getting a general idea on what condom size you need to buy is just the beginning. Just as not every bra in your size is equally comfortable, not all condoms in the same size range will feel the same. And while you may have a go-to bra for when you want comfort and something sexier for a night out, I hear from lots of condom users who switch up shape, texture, and flavor to match their mood.

My best advice (once you’ve determined the best size to use) to those committed to improving their sex with condoms is to get ready to explore a variety of condoms. And I often find that with condoms, as with so many things, you get what you pay for. Nothing against free or low-priced condoms, but high quality condoms are often worth the price. Premium condom samplers provide an inexpensive way to start exploring. (Lucky Bloke’s samplers include top-rated condoms in categories like Ultrathin, Flavored, and Textured.) Not only will you get a great condom variety, you will do so without having to buy entire boxes of twelve identical condoms in order to find the condoms that work best for you and your partner.

Non-latex condoms might be worth investigating even if you’re not allergic to latex. (And naturally we have a condom sampler for that, too) The non-latex options in our sampler* protect from STIs and pregnancy and offer amazing sensitivity, heightened feeling, and heat transfer.

*Note: Lambskin condoms, while in the non-latex category, aren’t included in the samplers since they’re not ideal for everyone. While they do prevent pregnancy, they will not protect you or your partner from contracting HIV or other STIs.

3. Lube Matters. (And how!)

The truth is that most everyone’s sex life can benefit greatly from some high-quality lubrication. However, there are many lube myths that may be keeping it out of your bedroom.

Do you think you need to be a certain age to use lube? You don’t! Are you afraid that using lube might mean that there’s something wrong with your sex life? Really, nothing could be further from the truth!

For condom users, extra lube has some major benefits. Simply put, exposing your most delicate parts to latex will dry you up—no matter how excited you may be. A study that looked at people’s arousal levels with and without condoms found that men who used a condom without lube were slightly less aroused than those who didn’t use a condom or lube. The kicker? The men who used a condom with lube got as aroused as those who didn’t use a condom at all! And provided you are using a high quality, condom-compatible lubricant, your condom is less likely to break during intercourse.

It’s time to declare your days of suffering through mediocre experiences with condoms officially over. Your sex life will thank you. Guaranteed.

bedsiderBEDSIDER is an online birth control support network for women operated by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen & Unplanned Pregnancy. Bedsider is totally independent (no pharmaceutical or government involvement). Honest and unbiased, Bedsider’s goal is to help women find the method of birth control that’s right for them and learn how to use it consistently and effectively, and that’s it.
Find Bedsider on twitter @Bedsider

Sex School: Condoms = Cancer? Uh, No. (Part 3).

Image from the CSPH Sunday Sex School Series

Image from the CSPH Sunday Sex School Series

We’ve spoken out against the condom company, Sustain’s irresponsible marketing ploy which insinuates that many condoms cause cancer. The truth is there is no scientific evidence that any condoms are laden with harmful carcinogens.

Now the greater sex education community is standing up against Sustain condoms.  The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (the CSPH) has featured a three part series that exposes Sustain’s confusing and misinformed messages. Here is the final part of that series. You can read the first part here.

In response to Sustain’s fear-mongering attempt to smear other condom products, here’s a refresher on all the wonderful things to know about condoms:

  • Condoms are the only method that protects against both STIs and accidental pregnancy.
  • Correct condom size is essential for the most pleasurable safer sex possible.
  • Adding lube both eases condom application and increases sensitivity.
  • Many condom companies are involved in socially responsible campaigns. When you buy condoms from companies like RFSU, Glyde and Lucky Bloke, you are also helping contribute to aid organizations such as UNICEF, Planned Parenthood and the Global Fund to Prevent AIDS.

This post by Erin Basler-Francis was originally published at the CSPH

BY THE CSPH | theCSPH.org

Over the last two lessons, we have discussed the science of nitrosamines and their suspected link to types of cancer, dispelled myths around nitrosamine levels in condoms and their link to reproductive cancers, and ran down how we got to the point of having this discussion.

So, now let’s look at condoms in a better light: Condoms—what to do with them and what they are doing for you. Note: in this discussion, the terms internal and external condoms are used rather than “male” or “female” condoms.

Condoms: Some Basics

Image from Condom Monologues.com

Image from Condom Monologues.com

There are two main types of condoms, internal and external. Internal condoms are the latex sheath for use over a penis or sex toy that people tend to envision when they use the term. Internal condoms (i.e. the FC2) are inserted into an orifice prior to penetration. Condoms are made from a host of materials, including latex (most common), polyurethane, lambskin, polyisoprene, and nitrile.

Generally, condoms and other barrier methods are recommended as the most effective method to avoid STIs if you are choosing to have genital contact with another person. They prevent the transfer of fluid based STIs (such as HIV and Syphillis) and reduce risk of contracting STIs that spread via surface contact (like Herpes and HPV).

Condoms: What Can You Do With Them

Image from the CSPH

Image from the CSPH

Condoms come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and flavors…and they can be used for many sexual activities beyond penile/vaginal intercourse.

For oral/genital contact, flavored condoms can be an added sexy treat. If going over a penis, adding silicone lube to the inside of the condom can keep the sensation slick, but the act safer. To make safer sex even sexier, one can put the condom on using their mouth. Flavored condoms, on a penis or cut open and spread over a vulva, can add a sweet bonus to going down.

When penetrating an anus, condoms can keep things clean. For people who are squeamish about poop, darker colored condoms will camouflage and fecal residue that might appear. Internal condoms can be used for anal intercourse by removing the insertion device (e.g. the ring in the FC2) and will offer both the security of a built in flange for the condoms and additional stimulation to the nerve endings in the anus and surrounding area. And, like a gift that keeps on giving, the ring removed from the tip of the FC2 can double as a cock ring.

If you are planning on only having sex with yourself, condoms are great for easy cleanup. Slide a condom on the penis or over a sex toy, and you aren’t scrambling for a sock/tissue/towel or a potentially awkward walk to a communal bathroom to wash your dildos in the sink. If premature ejaculation is a concern, condoms can help by changing the sensation of intercourse slightly.

On the size front, the old safer-sex educator trick of fitting a condom over the head, up the arm, or onto a summer squash (or maybe that one is just a fun party trick) gives the message that no one is too big to wear a condom. So why make them in different sizes?

Well, you can buy a suit off the rack and look incredibly dashing, dapper and nail a job interview, or you can decide to go with a bespoke suit and feel like James Bond or Tilda Swinton every time you put it on. Condom sizes are like that—they will function pretty great if you aren’t using the perfect size, but finding a condom with the optimum fit will make it feel even better.

What Are Condom Doing For You?

Many condoms companies—both distributors and retailers, participate in social responsibility campaigns. For example, Sustain, fear campaign aside, launched 10%4Women, in which the company contributes 10 percent of their pretax profits to women who lack access to reproductive health care.

Image from the CSPH

Image from the CSPH

Currently, ONE is running its #LustforLife campaign, in which the company partnered with NYC street artists to bring awareness to and raise money for Lifebeat, a NPO that provides HIV education in urban areas, through social media and an auction of original art pieces.

Glyde, aside from being a vegan, sustainable B-Corp, runs the Red Ribbon Campaign, which distributes condoms to sex workers in Southeast Asia as well as providing HIV prevention education abroad and at home in New Zealand.

Sir Richard’s Condoms employs Buy One, Give One. Global Protection (parent company of ONE Condoms) donates a significant number of condoms to reproductive health clinics and providers around the US. Durex, Trojan, Lifestyles…all of them have run significant awareness campaigns that, combined with the condoms they donate, make sure people are having safer sex.

Aside from reducing your personal risk of STIs and unintended pregnancy, it’s safe to say that when you strap on a condom, you are giving back to the world at large.

Do your part. Wrap up.

condom ad condoms too tight

csphThe CENTER for SEXUAL PLEASURE and HEALTH (The CSPH) is designed to provide adults with a safe, physical space to learn about sexual pleasure, health, and advocacy issues. Led by highly respected founder and director, Megan Andelloux, The CSPH is a sexuality training and education organization that works to reduce sexual shame, fight misinformation, & advance the sexuality field.

How To Avoid 6 Common Condom Problems

Image from Bedsider

Image from Bedsider

Condom trouble? First, don’t give up. Second, make sure you’re using the right condoms the right way.

Condoms are incredible little devices. They are one of the most effective forms of birth control and the only form of protection against many STIs. With correct and consistent use, condom are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. However, taking into account common misuses of condoms, researchers estimate that with “typical use” condoms are 85% effective.

In the article below, Bedsider and Melissa White team up to explain what exactly are those common condom mistakes that reduce condom effectiveness. Turns out, much of it has to do with condom size and people wearing the wrong condom.

There are many ways to reduce the risk of condom malfunction. The first step is to be aware of those common mistakes:

  • Condoms breaking? Check the expiry date. Store them properly. Did you leave room at the tip? Are they too small? Are you using lube?
  • Condom leaking? Are you pulling out and removing the condom promptly after ejaculation? Is the condom too big?
  • Condom slipped off inside you or your partner? It’s probably the wrong size condom.
  • Lost the erection? Sounds like you need a more tailored condom. Or you might need to add some sexy tips to your condom repertoire.
  • Itchy and irritated? You may be sensitive to latex.
  • And please, never use anything (like a plastic bag) to substitute a certified condom.

This article was originally published here.

BY BEDSIDER | Bedsider.org

We’ve all been there. Things are heating up and you both know exactly what you want to happen next. One of you whispers those five crucial words: “Do you have a condom?” and the other produces one (or, better still, several) triumphantly. You’re happily getting it on when you realize the condom tore or slipped off…

Condoms are easy, cheap, and offer protection against STIs and accidental pregnancy. Here’s the thing—they only work if you use them the right way. To help you do that, we’ve teamed up with Melissa White, CEO and founder of Lucky Bloke, to tell you how to avoid the six most common condom problems.

1. Help—the condom broke!

The good news is there are many ways to reduce the chance of a condom breaking. If you find yourself dealing with a broken condom situation, here’s what to do.

What now? If you realize right away (before anyone has gotten close to climaxing) that the condom broke, you can throw out the broken condom and try another one. Before you start again though you should make sure there isn’t something wrong with your condoms. Are the packages intact? Are your condoms expired? Were they exposed to extreme heat or cold? If not, you can use a new condom and just watch out for breakage.

If there’s a possibility of preejaculate or ejaculate, the safest thing to do is take emergency contraception (EC). You can take EC up to five days after you have unprotected sex but most kinds work better the sooner you take them. Here’s how to get some. You may also want to get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) if you’re not sure of your partner’s status. (And remember, you definitely can’t tell if someone has an STI just by looking!)

So it doesn’t happen again: Condoms can work very well when you use them right. If you’ve had a condom break, here are a few things to check to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

  • Size. When someone repeatedly has experiences with condoms breaking, it may mean the condom is too small. This doesn’t always mean a guy requires a large condom, though. A different kind of standard (or medium) size may work.
  • Lube. Using lube can make using a condom a lot more pleasurable. Pro-tip—apply a small amount of lube to the penis before applying the condom. (If you are using the proper size condom, this should not cause the condom to slip.) Use a generous application of lube to the outside.
  • Packaging. It’s important to make sure you’re opening the condom package carefully. We know you may be tempted to rip it open or use your teeth to get things going asap, but opening the package the wrong way can tear the condom.
  • Putting it on. To make sure you put the condom on correctly, be sure to pinch the tip while rolling it on. It’s important to leave room room for the finale!

2. Uh oh…looks like the condom leaked.

If you notice semen anywhere outside the condom during sex or after, it’s time to take extra steps to make sure you don’t get pregnant.

What now? Again, taking EC as soon as possible is the best way to reduce your risk of accidental pregnancy. Getting tested for STIs is a good idea if you don’t know your partner’s status.

So it doesn’t happen again: If a condom is leaking from the base it’s probably too big. This happens more often than one might think, as 35% of men require a smaller than standard condoms. Smaller condoms are rarely available at your local store but you can get them through websites like Lucky Bloke, Condomania, and Condom Jungle. By simply switching to a condom that fits properly you will avoid this situation in the future. If you’re using a standard condom, try small. If you’re using a large condom, try standard.

If the condom is leaking from the top or the middle, it could have a tear—see the section above on broken condoms.

3. The condom fell off…and got stuck!

This one can be scary, especially if you have trouble finding and retrieving the condom. Don’t panic.

What now? If the condom falls off, once again it’s time to take EC and go for STI testing. If it gets stuck inside you or your partner, here’s Cosmo’s advice: “lie back, relax, and insert one or two fingers inside of you and try to pull it out”. Don’t panic if you have trouble getting the condom out—hopefully it will come out on its own after a bit. If it doesn’t, head to your health care provider to remove it.

So it doesn’t happen again: This is another situation where the condom is probably too big—try a smaller size.

4. The condom doesn’t feel good and he can’t get hard.

If a condom is too tight or uncomfortable, he can lose his erection. It’s not you, it’s the condom, so don’t feel embarrassed—you can still save the night!

What now? There’s always the classic midnight condom run to get a different kind of condom, but if that’s not an option, opt for a cuddle and a movie and next time you hang out, come prepared.

So it doesn’t happen again: Again, it’s all about the fit. Even if a condom is not too tight, sometimes the fit is just uncomfortable. A good way to avoid this is to try out different kinds of condoms. (We like the sound of that!) Lucky Bloke has a “Not Sure What Size to Buy” condom sampler if you think size could be the issue. They also offer lots of other samplers if you just want to explore your options. You can also get variety packs through a bunch of other online retailers like Amazon, Condom Jungle, Sustain, and Condomania.

5. I think we’re allergic to condoms…

If you’re getting down and dirty and one of you starts getting itchy and irritated, it may be an allergic reaction to the condom you’re using.

What now? Give it a rest for the time-being and ditch the condom you’re using—no one wants to feel irritated! Go see your health care provider to find out what’s going on down there.

So it doesn’t happen again: If you’re allergic to latex, there are some great alternatives out there that protect from STIs and pregnancy and offer amazing sensitivity, heightened feeling, and heat transfer. Note that lambskin condoms, while in the non-latex category, are not ideal for everyone since they protect against pregnancy but not against STIs like HIV. Other non-latex condoms provide dual protection from pregnancy and STIs.

6. But won’t this cling wrap do the same thing?

Everybody knows someone who knows someone who used a plastic bag that one time. This is not a good idea. It seems like a no-brainer, but if you are turned on and can’t find a condom anywhere, cling wrap starts to sound more appealing. If you find yourself facing a spontaneous decision about whether to use anything for a condom other than a real condom, here’s what to do.

What now: Stop right there. Any material other than an actual condom will not work to prevent pregnancy and protect you from STIs. Go on a spontaneous condom run—you’d be surprised where you can find condoms!

So it doesn’t happen again: Your best bet for preventing this problem in the future is to carry condoms with you. They’re easy to tuck away into pockets and purses and it’s sexy to be prepared. Just make sure you don’t keep them too long in a pocket or purse or expose them to extreme temperatures.

What we’ve learned…

Most of these mishaps could be avoided by using the proper size condom. If your partner needs a snugger-fit condom, you might feel uncomfortable about approaching the subject. “I’d always suggest focusing on the pleasure aspect—you both will benefit.” says Melissa. “If you are using a condom that fits, your focus will be on each other and not on the condom.”

If you are having condom woes, a better fit condom—or a higher-quality condom—is going to be the solution in most cases. And if you’re looking to explore your condom options, Lucky Bloke is offering a 25% discount for all their products with the coupon code BEDSIDER.

Unsure what size

bedsiderBEDSIDER is an online birth control support network for women operated by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen & Unplanned Pregnancy. Bedsider is totally independent (no pharmaceutical or government involvement). Honest and unbiased, Bedsider’s goal is to help women find the method of birth control that’s right for them and learn how to use it consistently and effectively, and that’s it.
Find Bedsider on twitter @Bedsider

Good to Know: STI Prevention Hacks

Photo credit: Peter Gerdes

Photo credit: Peter Gerdes

There is nothing worse than getting your sexy on only to realize that you don’t have any condoms (or dams). Preparation makes safer sex very easy to practice without interrupting your groove.

But did you know that there are quick solutions if you do find yourself unprepared?

Bedsider here sharing five ways to expedite your access to safer sex tools. Only one thing we would add to this list: Purchase easy-travel pillow packs of lube so that you can have them with you anywhere you go.

This post was originally published here.

BY BEDSIDER | Bedsider.org

Think STI prevention kills the mood? Or that it’s always kind of a hassle? No way.

A little planning makes it very easy to protect yourself against an unintentional pregnancy and STIs. But what do you do when there’s no time to plan ahead and you really, really want to have sex? These hacks can help you stay safe in the moment without losing a minute of sexy time.

Stay healthy and happy,
Bedsider

P.S. Curious about the implant or shot? Our Real Stories feature women and men talking about the methods they use.

condom ad condoms too loose

bedsiderBEDSIDER is an online birth control support network for women operated by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen & Unplanned Pregnancy. Bedsider is totally independent (no pharmaceutical or government involvement). Honest and unbiased, Bedsider’s goal is to help women find the method of birth control that’s right for them and learn how to use it consistently and effectively, and that’s it.
Find Bedsider on twitter @Bedsider