Chlamydia and Gonorrhea: Wait, There’s Good News?

silver liningSome of the most contagious STIs are chlamydia and gonorrhea. The good news is that both are preventable and curable. The trick is knowing and planning to avoid them as well as getting regularly tested. This article by Corinne Rocca from Bedsider, walks you through the steps of how to deal with two of the most common STIs today.

Here are her main points to being a healthy sexual citizens:

  •   Clear communication about sex with your partner keeps you both emotionally and physically safe. Before you have sex with someone, ask them if and when they have been tested. If you may have an infection, tell your partner.
  • Use protective barriers like condoms and dental dams. When used correctly, a condom cuts the chances of getting chlamydia or gonorrhea by more than half.
  • Even if you don’t have symptoms, get tested. Testing is simple and there are apps to help you find a free clinic near you.
  • Follow through with treatment. Untreated bacterial STIs can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) and infertility.
  • Remember, there is nothing sexier than taking care of your sexual health.

This post was originally published at Bedsider

BY BEDSIDER | Bedsider.org

With the right action-plan, two of the most common STIs are preventable and curable.

Two of the most common STIs (sexually transmitted infections) in the U.S., chlamydia and gonorrhea, are caused by bacteria. We know that the large majority of people who get chlamydia and gonorrhea are under age 26. It’s difficult to know exactly how common these STIs are because lots of people who have them never have symptoms and never get tested—which means they may be more common than we think. That said, we know that each year at least 1 in 50 people aged 15-24 get chlamydia, and about 1 in 200 get gonorrhea. Yup, that’s millions of Americans each year getting one of these STIs.

Part of the reason these bacterial STIs are so common is that they’re really contagious. Remember the pink-eye or lice epidemics that went through school when you were a kid? Bacterial STIs are that contagious, though fortunately they only spread during sex, not during recess. Unfortunately, if you have sex with somebody who’s got a bacterial STI and don’t use a condom or dental dam, chances are good that you’ll get it too.

Nothing takes the sexy out of sexy times like worrying about STIs, but having a plan to avoid or deal with them will keep you healthier and sexier in the long run. And, bonus, some of the most common STIs can be prevented—and, if you get one, cured.

Plan A: Prevent

Talk about it before anybody’s pants come off. It’s a lot easier to focus on a conversation about STIs before your heart is racing a mile a minute. If you’re considering having sex with someone new, ask them when they last got tested. If they haven’t been tested recently, tell them they’d better get to the clinic if they want some action. For tips on having this conversation, check out ‘It’s Your Sex Life.’ There is also this great article on why and how to talk about health with your sexual partner. You can even make getting tested together part of your extended flirtation, or share your testing results with each other using Qpid.me.

Condoms help. Can your birth control help protect you from STIs? If you use condoms, the answer is yes. (Other types of birth control are great at preventing pregnancy but don’t help with STIs.) When used correctly, a condom cuts the chances of getting chlamydia or gonorrhea by more than half. If having the talk about getting tested didn’t happen in time, you can insist on using a condom. If you need some tips for convincing someone to use a condom, check out this post for effective comebacks.

What does it mean to use a condom correctly?*

  • First, put the condom on before the penis touches the vagina, mouth, or anus.
  • Second, make sure that the condom will unroll in the right direction before it touches the tip of the penis. If the condom is already touching the penis and it’s not unrolling in the right direction, don’t flip it over—discard it and start with a fresh condom.
  • Third, pinch the tip and roll it down to the base of the penis. Use a condom the whole time you’re having sex to make sure you’re protected.

I heard I can’t get it if we only have oral sex. Sorry, not true. The bacteria that cause STIs can’t tell the difference between a throat and genitals. Kissing, on the other hand—even serious French action—seems to be safe territory.

He’s circumcised, so he’s clean, right? Nope. Recent research has shown that circumcised men may get and spread HIV more slowly compared to men who are not circumcised. But there’s no evidence that being circumcised makes any difference for getting or spreading a bacterial STI.

I’m gonna wash that STI right out of my… No dice. Washing the genitals, mouth, or butt after sex does not protect against any STI. Neither does douching.

But he/she looks totally healthy… and delicious. There’s no way to know if somebody has an STI by looking. Many people with a bacterial infection don’t even know themselves that they have it, which is one reason the CDC recommends that everybody in the U.S. under age 26 get tested for chlamydia every year.

Plan B: Get tested—and treated, if necessary

Maybe the hook up has already happened and you need to know what you can do now to protect your health. Even if you don’t have symptoms, it’s important to get tested. In women, an untreated bacterial STI can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), which can cause pain and scarring in the fallopian tubes. Scars can also block the tubes and make it difficult for some women to get pregnant when they’re trying to.

Luckily, chlamydia and gonorrhea are easy to detect and easy to treat. Testing is painless. Find a clinic near you, pee in a cup, and hand it over to the clinic staff. They may be able to tell you a result right away or within a few days. If you live in certain areas, you might be able to get a home test kit for free in the mail. Getting treated is easy too—you just take the prescribed antibiotic pills.**

What about that awkward moment when you have to tell somebody else they may have an infection? ‘It’s Your Sex Life’ has more good tips for talking about it. If you can’t bear the thought of a face-to-face conversation, try sending an anonymous e-card with InSpot.

If you would prefer to go to a healthcare provider or clinic you already know—maybe a place where you’ve gotten prescription birth control or condoms in the past—you can talk to your provider about STI testing without shame. It doesn’t have to be about whether you’re worried you have an STI—it can be as simple as, “Hey, I heard I should get tested for this every year. How about it?”

Bacterial STIs are too common to ignore, and nothing’s hotter than being on top of your health.

*Check out Bedsider’s page on how to put on a condom for more detail, or download “Condom Pro” to your iPhone to practice putting one on correctly.

**You may have seen headlines recently warning of of strains of gonorrhea that are resistant to all antibiotic drugs. While this is something to keep an eye on, fortunately at this point it’s not a problem in the U.S. The CDC has more information about these strains if you want to learn more.

condom ad condoms too tight

bedsiderBEDSIDER is an online birth control support network for women operated by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen & Unplanned Pregnancy. Bedsider is totally independent (no pharmaceutical or government involvement). Honest and unbiased, Bedsider’s goal is to help women find the method of birth control that’s right for them and learn how to use it consistently and effectively, and that’s it.
Find Bedsider on twitter @Bedsider

How to Tell a Sex Partner I Have an STD

Photographer Caralin Walsh

Photographer Caralin Walsh

A prerequisite to loving, healthy sexual partnership is trust and honesty. Thus, it is important for you and your sex partner to talk about your STI history and status (if one of you don’t know your status, why not get tested together?).

Initiating disclosure can feel worrisome. How can you avoid rejection? Jenelle Marie of The STD Project offers her approach and shares experiences from others.

There are effective ways to disclose. Here are main aspects of Jenelle’s approach:

  • Do it face-to-face.
  • Honest information is key. Share the facts and contextualize them with a positive attitude.
  • Give the other person time to digest the information.
  • The person’s decision to end the relationship due to an STI is not about you. Don’t take it personally.

The original article was published here.

BY JENELLE MARIE | theSTDProject.com

So, you have an STD.

You might even being learning to live with yourself by now (you certainly should be, but I know this takes oodles and oodles of time) and you might have finally resolved to regard the experience as a phenomenal learning opportunity – one you wish you wouldn’t have had to learn first hand, sure, but a learning opportunity nonetheless.

Consequently, you’ve started to date! Cheers!

Or maybe someone came on to you while you were dutifully trying to swear off relationships for the rest of your life?!?!

Either way, the time has come to have ‘the talk’. NO ONE wants to have the talk with anyone EVER, but you must have it if you’re ever to develop a loving, healthy relationship with someone again – at least enough to get in the sack with them that is!

It may shock you, but sex is still fantastic with an STD.

Do your best not to worry too much about that right now, I’ll get you there.

Anyhow, now what? What in the world are you going to say to the potential love of your life to get them to not run for the hills?!!?!

Well, I’m sure there are many ways to go about telling someone you have an STD, however, not all of them will help you keep the other individual.

Albeit, what I’m about to share is certainly not a guaranteed method, by any means; it’s just what I think works best. I’ve had quite a bit of luck in this approach; I’ve been married, I’ve had great long-term relationships, and I’ve never lost a partner simply because of my STD. So, in some ways, I’m proof there’s a good way to do this kind of thing. Others tend to agree and I talk about their perspectives in depth here.

In the end, only you will know what works best for you, but in the meantime, you can try this approach on for size until you do.

No Text Messages, Emails, or Singing Telegrams

First of all, it is my belief that any mode of telling someone you have an STD other than face-to-face is bad form and would give that potential someone all the more reason to say, ‘thanks, but no thanks.’

I know, it would be so much easier to have Barney show up at their door singing about loving people despite their differences, STDs are ok, just love one another, etc., etc….

But, this is one conversation where today’s ingenious and creative technological approaches just won’t cut it. Besides, even though the conversation is tougher/more embarrassing in person, it provides you an opportunity to gauge their initial reactions and it allows them to see how sincere you are.

All in all, in-person is a win-win.

However, and this is a very big however, where you tell someone you have an STD is just as important as how. What I mean is, the place you choose to sit someone down to have this conversation should be fairly neutral and a calm atmosphere.

At the bar, while babysitting your best-friend’s two year old, or at Starbucks are all HORRIBLE ideas.

In my experience, I’ve made a special trip over to the individual’s home while they were alone and not in a hurry with the pretense of, ‘Hey, can I drop by for a few minutes, I’d like to chat with you about something?’

Telling someone in the comfort of their own home or in private serves two purposes. It allows the person an opportunity to react how they would naturally without being influenced by on-lookers or having to ‘put on airs’. And, this leaves the individual in a comfortable environment to ask as many questions as they like or to do their own private research without pressure, which, leads me to my next point.

Be Honest, Positive, & Resourceful

In sharing your status, it’s incredibly important you’re as honest as possible.

I’ve always shared how long I have had genital herpes, how I got it (or, at least what I know about how I got it), what I’ve learned from the experience, how hard it’s been at times, and what it means for my health. Many times, I’ve told my story in tears – not with the intent of playing the sympathy card (although, I’m sure it could have been perceived that way) – because, quite honestly, it’s an embarrassing and scary conversation to have and re-telling my story generally re-surfaces some old emotions. Regardless, I think that is all O.K. because it’s honest.

From there, I share the facts and figures and let them ask whatever questions they’d like to know. I give them the information I know, what herpes does and doesn’t mean for me, and the very realistic truth that an STD has been manageable for me and has not hindered anything in my life. I have passed my STD on to others, understandably – not all of my partners have contracted it (quite a few have not) – and the risk is still very real.

I also share with them some of the resources I’ve used to gather my information. Letting the person know there’s a lot of information on the web and encouraging them to do some research on their own is always great. This let’s the individual know you respect their opinion and that this kind of decision takes some thorough consideration.

Then, I leave.

Often, I’ve shared my story and then said something along the lines of, ‘I know this is a lot to take in, and I’m not expecting a reaction or response immediately – no matter where you want to go from here, I respect that entirely, of course. Do some research, and then let’s talk about how you feel when you’re ready.’

Give Them Time

Everyone is different.

Some people have responded immediately with an incredibly surprising, ‘You mean, that’s all you had to tell me? So what? This doesn’t change how I feel about you.’ Others have needed more time to digest, to come back and ask me questions, and then to digest some more. Because of the taboo nature of STDs, it’s hard to decipher how anyone will react.

As a result, it’s nice to let them know they can have as much time as they need.

In the end, some people may choose not to continue the relationship.

This is an understandable reaction even though it will probably break your heart.

Consider yourself lucky to know why they do not want to go further. You could probably care less about the silver-lining to all of this when your heart is broken…. But remember, most people never know why a person stops calling them or chooses to see other people; they are stuck analyzing everything they did and wondering if it was their looks, their personality, their family, etc.

Should someone choose to end the relationship as a result of your STD, know it actually has nothing to do with you. They were scared – rightfully so – and the relationship had not developed enough for them to be willing to take the risk. Sucks, yes, but it’s not the end of your dating career and it means you’re still awesome despite your STD.

Believe me, it’s true. 🙂

And, for those of you who like bullet points, here’s the abridged version of how to tell someone you have an STD:

– Tell them in-person while in a calm and quiet environment – their home could be a good choice
– Be honest about your experiences, be positive about yourself and your STD, let them ask questions, share the facts and figures, and point out some good resources
– Let the person have some alone time to do their own research and to decide how they would like to proceed.
– Don’t take their decision personally

If All Else Fails…

Should you be in a situation where you have already put a person at risk and you cannot bring yourself to discuss your STD face-to-face, should you feel telling the person would put your safety at risk, or for any other reason you are not able to have a conversation directly, there are a handful of websites designed to notify partners of your STD for you and anonymously.

These are great sites designed for those in fear of judgement but wanting as much as possible to do the right thing.

In fact, the guys at Don’tSpreadIt.com, in particular, are on The STD Project’s facebook page and I’ve chatted with them frequently – they’d love for you to take a gander at their site! 😉

1533882_446848112083407_2051712922_n THE STD PROJECT is a multi-award-winning independent website and progressive movement eradicating STD stigma by facilitating and encouraging awareness, education, and acceptance through story-telling and resource recommendations. Fearlessly led by Founder, Jenelle Marie, The STD Project is committed to modern-day sexual health and prevention by advocating for conscientious and informed decisions. Find them on twitter @theSTDProject